So much for blogging more…the last few weeks have been a circus, and I don’t mean just because there was Christmas and Ana’s birthday last weekend. Things have been hopping in every other area of life as well…job…family…relationships…friendships. In a way I’m sad, but in many ways I’m glad as I’m wrapping up this year absolutely sure of where I stand with some pretty vital people in my life. And that’s a gift you can’t regret or hate.
It’s also caused me to realize what is really important, especially WHO is really important. Like, worth-the-effort important. Surprisingly, some people I thought were worth it aren’t. But at the end of the day, all that really matters are the people I woke up with on Christmas Day: my three babies. I said last year at this time that 2017 was going to be the year I focus on them first, me second; and the rest of the world can take care of itself. I’m ending the year having done just that, despite it costing me money, jobs, and even friendships. I refuse to apologize for letting the rest of the world take care of itself. Because it dawned on me while I sat on the floor in front of the tree, watching my babies each open up their big box of gifts (as much as I love to make things pretty, a very long day at church+my inner eco-demons that scream “waste of paper” had me instead putting all the kids gifts in a big box for each of them and simply wrapping that…way less messier!), I realized that’s all that mattered. Them. And me, for I need to take care of me to take care of them. The rest? It’s all extra. Some good extra and some bad…but it’s extra.
So as we go into 2018 I have a few specific goals in mind, some projects I want to get off the ground and some changes coming…but I don’t have a single regret for putting the rest of the world behind my babies and me.